I adore my family. Really, truly, I adore them. Every member of this unity is just more justification for me being as messed up as I am. It's fabulous in every meaning of the word...

4 occurrences today reminded me of how lucky I am to have this type of family:

1. Family Dinner- this meal has always been extraordinary in my family. A combination of people such as Rob, the Bat, and Boris the dog is extremely promising in whatever light you choose to view it. Today during leopard lunch, there was an activity in which you had to pick a partner and stare at their eyes for 3 minutes without laughing or smiling. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. After expressing his doubts about the challenging nature of such an exercise, Rob tried it and lasted roughly 6 seconds before bursting into his endearing laugh. The boy is truly something. No words can express such a character; therefore it would seem silly for me to endeavor to do so here. I’ll merely say that he’s insane like me, but is capable of better physical comedy than Michael Richards .This boy can twist his face into any expression of disgust, pain, laughter, gaiety, whatever. One simply cannot avoid laughing when he’s in certain moods. Tonight was one of those nights, so the voices coming from the dining room were those of pure, unrestrained laughter that can only be found in a home. After trying in vain to accomplish this look-in-the-eye feat, he decided to voice an assortment of odd and anomalous noises in an effort to make me laugh first. I think I burnt off the calories gained through the meal by laughing alone. It was spectacular.

2. Family Home Evening- With nobody being able to cease staring at each other in effervescent competition, Family Home Evening was a rather interesting affair. Even my mother kept on giggling during the lesson, throwing her head back charismatically, her laugh issuing forward graciously. After admonishing us, Jeff was disappointed to see Rob playing peek-a-boo with the Bat behind a pillow. Nothing was going to get done, and finally everyone present accepted the inevitable fate of the lesson. We decided between fits of laughter to prolong the lesson until next Monday, laughing madly for the next 10 minutes or so.

3. The Bat’s daily display of abnormality- today she decided that as a confidence-building activity, we would play “I am a star”. During this game, every member of the family would jump up and declare “I am a star!” before continuing to share a talent with the family. For her talent, the bat demonstrated her rendition of the Polka. I mean, this woman is simply batty. She stood up, and proceeded with the dance. She began this number in an incredibly still position, before waking up to her passion and galloping around the room in uneven steps, occasionally slapping her large thigh. This was brief, luckily, but I shall never forget it, or the look of intense concentration upon her face. I sang the first verse of Ella’s “Black Coffee”, mom whistled Bach’s Fugue, Ricky sat down on the floor and folded is limbs up in knots. A very informative presentation was given by Jeff, who showed us the proper form for the American Crawl Stroke, and then explained why most swimmers were inefficient fools who have already deserved the drowning he hoped for them. Robert played a Rachmaninoff on the grand. It was a dazzling, astonishing display that will not soon be forgotten. But, before we leave this subject, I must inform you that the Bat is leaving on Monday to take a road trip to our cabin in Rand, Colorado. I think I’m quite right in my hypothesis that the end is near for this woman; she can barely drive in the daytime and has a debilitating case of road rage. I might add also that she was the grand winner in our staring tournament, due to hours of hard practice with Boris the dog.

4. Talking and Singing with my mother- Things haven’t changed between us since our confrontation on Saturday, oddly enough. We sung for 45 minutes today, hymns, spirituals, bluegrass, and my mom even gave some classic Ella a shot. We then talked about when I was little, the quirky things I’d do and the mad escapades she had growing up. This all sounds horribly sentimental, but it’s simply how my family operates. We can’t get along, we verbally abuse each other daily, but all in all we’re bound with rope thicker than desires or rancor.

I just realized how much I truly will miss then. Rob leaves for Switzerland in less that two months, and one never knows how much longer the Bat will hold out for. This is how I will always picture my family: giggling at nonsensical nothings, bashing the apple users and the Swedes, trying to get Boris the dog to wag his tail. I’ll be sad when this all changes, when people leave and/or die.

I come from such a noble lineage.