Dash it all! My study habits are terrible. I got up at 4:00 to do the physics I could have easily done yesterday, but I can't ever concentrate unless I'm mentally absent. Talk about ironic. Huh

Anyway-Opening night is in two days and I still have no one to cover my shift at work. I have a lot of work to do on my last scene that I really don't want to do. I am so sick and tired of acting all sick and tired of everybody and exploding; it's incredibly draining. After our run-through yesterday, though, NZ told me I was incredible. *sigh*

Speaking of such personas, I saw him yesterday after school. Mom and I went down to 9th and 9th to get some bread at great harvest (one of the many things I did yesterday instead of my homework), and to go lazily meander throughout the shops there. The bat has returned from her trip, and was waiting in the car. The woman brought me back a shirt. An interesting shirt. It's a cute collared shirt that fits well, but it's hideous; it's baby blue with this electric blue Hawaiian print on it. Insisting that I wear it out, I pull it over my tee and stomp out to the car wearing the blue monstrosity and long khaki shorts. I'm in tennis shoes.

I looked like a freaking tourist.

All I needed was a camera and a floppy straw hat and I would be the spitting image of a native Wyoming-an out for vaca in the valley. The color was terrible with my face, too. I looked ghastly. So, of course, right as I walked out of great harvest in my dinky wittle outfit, NZ is strolling down the street, 7 feet away.

"Hey Rachael." He calls.

I stand there with my loaf of bread in hand, force a smile and answer back. I blushed then bolted for the car. Dangit! The first time the bat has left town it 5 years! The first time she's gotten me a shirt this ugly! The ONLY time I EVER wore long khaki shorts! Of course they all come together when NZ is walking down 9th south debonairly, jacket carelessly flung over his back. Argh!

This is stupid of me, and I have no idea why I care so much. I don't think I even realized how much I cared until that moment, right after I had stepped off the imaginary charter bus from Cheyenne. I really shouldn't mind, but I do. I crave control at all times, and no one is in control while wearing neon colors! No one.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to look beautiful today to make up for the fact. Since I haven’t done my English and (get this) have yet to finish my physics, I need to leave you. I adore you all, so don’t find me too pathetic.

I’m just a conceited, arrogant, delusional control freak. Nothing wrong with that, right? :)