You deserve to hear this without the pretentious adjectives and well crafted sentences that I use as another wall to hide behind. I could say this in a paragraph, perhaps even a couple sentences, but I’d rather write pages and pages and distort what I feel and observe, hoping to lose you in this superfluous maze of description and empty references. I’ve been so open, though, so very open and exposed, surely I can’t behave in a purely honest manner. Surely I can’t leave all possibilities for temporary refuge and finally address what I must finally battle.

I will attempt this, though. I’ll try to be completely open and honest; I’ll try to utter every word I know you deserve to hear.

I’m too tired, however, to even begin tonight; I wrote a paragraph and already I’m lost in frustration. I’ll arrive on Thursday collected and prepared, but I can’t begin to articulate this tonight. Sleep beckons me, and dreaming about this will surely only help me to do the impossible.