“Here you go, Rashel, here’s the phone.” The bat slurred as she feebly handed me the tv remote.

“Why thank you, mormor. I’ve been wanting to turn off those bores on the phone for ages.”

“What?”

“This is the TV remote.”

She studied the piece of machinery extensively for half a minute.

“Hmmm, so it is.”

Yesterday the bat returned from the store accompanied by two lovely police cars and three burly officers. Apparently the bat had doubled all of her poppers, and had gone on a crashing spree, running three red lights, driving over two people’s lawns, and flattening a stop sign before reversing and driving over it again. She came home, parked on half the sidewalk, and promptly tried to take a nap.

We worked things out, but ever since then everything’s been a bit more interesting around the house.