I am so absolutely neurotic. I enjoy posting pictures on my blog; simply because they intrigue me for one reason or another, and I post them so that I can have an easy reference place for this if I wish to access them again. It has close to nothing to do with you, dearest reader.

But I hate seeing the picture when my blog initially loads. I’ve had this white layout since June, and I worked very hard to perfect it (and there were many an unimportant detail that I lost sleep over). So naturally, a big, busy picture that is extraneous to the initial design drives me crazy. I’m driven to the point where I’ve been sitting here, forcing myself to write, so that I can load my blog without seeing that Jennifer Lopez picture. It’s not the picture itself; I love that picture and the concept behind it, it’s simply the fact that it disrupts the visage I’ve labored toward and finally achieved. Once a huge picture is there, however, it’s all ruined and I’m forced into this unhealthy fixation.

Tonight I’ve tried many things to mend this; I posted lyrics, but seeing as the lyrics are aligned on the left side of the page, as they should be, the balance is once again lost because there’s that gap of space between the lyrics and my personalization on the right that doesn’t work at all. I also considered posting a really long quote, but realized there’s no possible way I can assume that I can actually fill up my journal with somebody else’s words and think that I’ll be able to sleep at night. For precisely one-third of a second the positively brilliant idea of another picture popped into my head. I decided that I needed to go to bed before I hurt myself.