Never before has an outfit gone so badly. Today I decided to go nice yuppie, but had, er, a few problems putting it together. I wore a nice knit black turtleneck with my wool duster, my hair in a semi-messy upbraid that went perfectly with the feel of the look and my tweed bag. I slung my new (and freaking expensive) cream colored scarf from white house, black market around my neck. But then the two crucial questions popped up: what skirt and which shoes?

Oh, how the shoes make or break the outfit! I was originally planning to wear the Jane Eyre flats (Mum and I call these shoes the Jane Eyre’s because of the simplicity in color [black] and design. Think these with a more square-ish toe minus the bow) But alas, I stepped out my bedroom door to see they already donned the feet of my mother! With 3 minutes until I had to be out the door, I had to think quickly and effectively. I decided to wear one of my many black skirts, and shoes like these . The skirt was a mistake. It’s the concept of the poodle skirt in the materials of the feminized menswear trend, and it’s cute if worn right. But today it was not, and it was terrible.

As I walked, I found that the duster + revamped poodle skirt combination caused the skirt to ride up to mid thigh, where it poofed out and billowed about my cold legs, looking like a trashy mini from hot topic. The shoes, which are dressy by nature but can be dressed down with the right things, made it look as if I were trying to be dressy with a trashy mini from hot topic. The shoes are cheap payless, but really look classy most of the time, especially with flawlessly done yuppie. This attire, however, really brought out the ‘cheap’ in the shoes.

To add to this, in all the flutter of trying to get to physics lecture on time I forgot to tie the duster. As I walked to class the belt flapped about my legs, sometimes getting stuck between my legs in the wispy swirl of the skirt. I didn’t have time to drop my belongings and adjust myself, however badly I needed it, so for some reason I decided to tie the belt, which is attached to the back of the duster, to my purse. The extra long scarf was looped around my neck several times and then tied onto the purse as well, so as to prevent further disturbance to myself. As I opened the door to the physics building, I saw in the fated reflection of the glass how ridiculous I looked. Imagine an individual in an interesting wispy mini skirt poking out of a wool duster in children’s ivory heels. It seems as if she is completely set on not losing her purse, seeing as every loose piece of cloth that wraps around her is tethered onto the brown tweed purse that holds no logical place in the misunderstood-teenager-getup.

I can laugh about it now, but trying to get around campus was embarrassing, humiliating, and extremely difficult to do without flashing every student that walked by. It was absolutely wretched.

So I have learned, once again, the virtues of waking up on time.