I listen to the voices. Anger, in shaking bitterness, is finally attacking the negligence, the sickness.

I feel completely nauseated. Not only by what people will do, but by what people will accept. Sometimes one can’t forgive; sometimes it’s completely necessary to remember.

With the lights out
it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea

I reach for the speakers. The sounds of the band nirvana drown me, deafen me. Exactly what I want: the inability to hear, the inability to understand. I don’t want to analyze this situation. I want nothing but the firm promise I make to rid my consciousness of anything about this. I can’t help but ponder why. Why on earth? I question the strength I’ve always perceived. Then why, why would one make such ridiculously weak, pardoning decisions? I listen to the music:

And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind

I smirk briefly when I think of the lyrics to the song. How grossly inappropriate.