I sit before you, with Dixie the Jack Russell swirling around my feet and incredibly little to say. So far my stay here in Cincinnati has been utter bliss, yet almost completely uneventful. One must wonder why an interesting sequence of events is necessary for happiness and a sense of excitement in one's life when staying at home, yet not while traveling abroad. The change of scenery is inflammation enough; stimuli dwells within the foreign environment. Therefore I have yet to feel bored or disenchanted with my stay, but rather I am still in a frenzy about my being here. It will be very hard indeed for me to return to the drudgery of Salt Lake, and to the monotony that has buzzed inside me for the past four years. I understand that this will prevail anywhere if I let it, that Cincinnati would soon fatigue and irritate me if I stayed long enough while harboring such a mentality, but I don't think I like the idea of expending effort toward not letting myself get bored in Salt Lake. I'd rather move here and labor not to let myself get bored. All and all I think the latter idea would prove much more rewarding.

Today we lounged about until 11:00, at which time we took it upon ourselves to journey down to Covington for a nice lunch at the cock and bull pub, which was very excellent indeed. I had the chicken penne, which was delicious, but to be quite frank, not as ambrosial as one would expect from a dish with as many fat grams as I'm sure was in that one. Not only did I face this calorie-breathing beast bravely, but I solicited it by asking for a side of melted butter and garlic so that I might further adorn the platter and double the fat content. This was probably a bad move on my part, but penne must be served in a sauce creamier than olive oil and chardonnay, what can I say? Surely any level-headed pasta connoisseur would agree with me and would take a similar course of action, regardless of the heart attack that's sure to follow after about three of these meals. Usually I'm able to shrug this off and not think about it, but this inordinately fattening meal left me with an immense feeling of guilt that has yet to leave me. Today we made a recording for Rob to send to him in Switzerland, and upon viewing this I have come to the paranoid conclusion that I am the most corpulent female ever to pound about the city on the thunder thighs that are hers. Some who know me might take it upon themselves to scoff at me, but I assure you that this observation is neither stupid nor fallacious, because I simply feel obese. Too much rich food can do this to you, I truly blame European cooking for my lack of contact with reality, I do. It's absolutely laughable to think that the Italians and the French were the ones who invented Creme Brulée and Tiramisu Cheesecake and yet America is the fattest nation in the world. Just because we can't restrain ourselves and resort to stuffing ourselves to bursting in face of all the emotional retardedness that we as Americans are exposed to day by day isn't reason enough to turn us into the upholstered buffoons of the modern day world. Is mother nature completely merciless or does she merely have a painfully fiendish sense of humor?

I think I should move to Calcutta and dwell in a severe state of destitution until my unfortunate financial condition forces me into a semi-emaciated physique. I then can work to kindle all the rest of my dear little complexes into raging bon fires that ravage my life and leave me another servant of the deleterious wreck of a system that is North American society. Is one not disconsolate to realize that I am not alone in this skewed worldview? But alas! Do not fear! For my arrogance and dominating pomposity restrain me from acting on my dislike of my healthy body, or even from allowing my mind to dwell on the issue for a moment too long. And yet my dislike of my relatively healthy body restrains me from letting my conceit overpower me and destroy my life. It is a beautiful cycle of flaws that gyrates and spins closer and closer to overall balance than many other seemingly "healthy" aspects of life.

I believe therein that cycle lies the key to the success of the American nation. We, the people of the babbling, conceited, completely oblivious and biased, are a major power in the world not because we're healthy and level-headed. Good heavens no! It's because we have so many complexes, phobias, obsessions, fixations, and neuroses that they all each individually make the others less daunting and therefore less threatening. This balance of infirmities leads to an arrogance that doesn't cripple because it doesn't exist to hide or cover the infirmities, but simply exists to coincide with the infirmities in a beautifully askant symbiotic relationship. This beautifully askant symbiotic relationship exists because it, in and of itself, makes no sense whatsoever, and therefore holds a secure place in the American psyche. We are a powerful people because we are completely and utterly insane. Absurdity is a necessary attribute of the well rounded individual; it builds character.  

Tomorrow I have to wake up at 7:45 for church, and right now it is 12:09. I have no idea why I'm wasting my time stating that Americans are insane, it's much like writing a dissertation about grass being green or mosquitoes being repulsive; it is a common fact that is well known and widely accepted. I leave you all on that note and beg that this has changed your view of us Americans. We're really not that bad, we're just unhinged, and quite content about the unhingement, if that is indeed a word. Farewell.