"I hope I didn't bring up a sensitive subject when I mentioned Barb earlier today."

"What?" My father asked me, somewhat confused. The girlfriend of Cindy's 20 year old son, Austin, had delivered a baby the previous Sunday. Family relations are messy at this point, and by messy I mean that they put episodes of Jerry Springer to shame. All the same, a baby had been delivered, Cindy had become a grandmother -I suppose we can suspend that statement until the paternity tests have been taken care of- I felt it appropriate to inquire after the health of the parents and child.

"Today, when I mentioned Barb's delivery. She looked downright pissed, to be honest."

"Oh the baby! No, not at all. She is absolutely twitterpated with that child, through and through. Absolutely beautiful baby girl."

"Have you seen the baby?"

"No!" He barked. "I don't trust them."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing like a baby to make blubbering idiots out of otherwise sane people," he explained.