GPU (Glorious productivity update): I have cleaned Rufus. By “cleaned” I mean drove to the car cleaner, hosed him down, soaped him up, rinsed him off, came home, vacuumed him inside out, windexed the windows, fabreezed the hell out of the interior, and doted upon him generously for hours on end. Yes, my biscuits, the productivity continues. What? What was that? Well, yes, okay: I did fiddle about with my father's camera for two and a half hours with not a single picture to show for it, but that's really not the point. Why bother bringing that up, anyway? Must you always focus on the emptiness of my proverbial cup as opposed to the fullness? You won't get anywhere in life with a dark attitude like that, darlings, no place at all.

Anyway, now that I have recovered from that ever so pointless interruption of despondency and gloom, I can continue to the GPF (Glorious productivity forecast): I plan to run for about 30 minutes on the elliptical, and then do some toning exercises for 30 minutes. I will then make a cup of coffee and enjoy it with two squares of dark chocolate. I will then take the rest of the evening to relax. I've earned it, wouldn't you say? What? What do you mean 'no'? Stop gabbing on about the hours and hours of schoolwork I've neglected, damnit! Yes, I've an exam on Friday and Monday, and then a gargantuan research paper due the Friday after that, but that's simply not the point! I've been productive today, hear me? PRODUCTIVE!

You bastards....