It's at times like these that I wish I had a god to pray to; pressure builds, opportunities become convoluted, and my future depends on something that depends on something that has something to do with Ohio residency. How nice it would be to fold my arms and bank it all on faith.

Unfortunately though, I've decided to believe that my future is built solely on the consequences of my actions. I've been scrambling around the UC all day to day, (by the way, PARKING IS A BITCH) and I left the crazy campus with less hope than I had entering earlier that day. Though crowded, the atmosphere of the UC is what I want and what I need; the design building was massive and complex, and thoroughly enjoyable. The industrial program in which I hope to enroll, however, is much more competitive than I originally thought, and even if I get accepted I have to find a way around the $21,000 a year out-of-state tuition (I have my wiles, mind you, so it's not as impossible as it might seem, but it's pretty damn close). I'll continue to accost those in charge of the program with emails and messages, but until then I suppose I'll just have to cross my fingers as opposed to folding my arms.

An interesting thing happened the other day, by the way: I received an email from Elisse and called her the following day. I'm afraid the incentive of my original post might be misinterpreted, therefore, for I was not attempting to be passive-aggressive and urge Elisse to strike up correspondence, but merely trying to address what had happened by writing about it. We had a pleasant conversation; things seemed back to normal for a bit, but when I called her back later that day everything seemed awkward. There are aspects of my life that will never be definite, it seems, that will never be simple, but rather will always be multi-faceted, two-faced, and will always leave me guessing. Nothing is easy, even the things that are intuitive.